The Psychoanalyzing of Every Total Drama Character
by TotalCyborgPineappleIsland2
Summary: It's back! That's right. I, well Dr. Hyme A. Froud, will give his opinion about all of the characters in Total Drama down to the point of their personality. This will be in order of elimination from Ezekiel to Cameron with Chris, Chef, and friends. Read and Review.
1. Ezekiel

_**A/N: I'm back! Did anyone miss me? That's right this story is BACK. For those of you who have just saw this let me explain… Yesterday I first published this but I was threatened to take it down because it lacked characters and a plot so I did. As I said before, I will rise from the ashes like a phoenix, and I did. It has a character (Dr. Hyme A. Froud) and a plot (to tell you about the characters of Total Drama).**_

_**The reason I started this story is because a lot of characters seem to be getting the bad end of the stick in fanfiction and the cannon for no reason and dull ones were praised and I just want to speak my mind about it, through Hyme's mouth of course. Anyways, I am going to psychoanalyze and give my opinion of all of the characters of TD in elimination order and add a little bonus chapter soon. Here is the first one… Ezekiel.**_

_**So without further adieu... **_

Static fizzed on the screen with its black and white grains. Soon, a picture emerged. A man in his late thirties or early forties was sitting on a blue, plush arm chair. Next to him was a small table, a meter in diameter, with a white mug of coffee and a plate of chocolate chip cookies. He had sandy brown hair that overlapped the top of his right eye. The glasses on his clean-shaven face were square, brown glasses. His blue buttoned shirt was covered by an un buttoned brown sports coat. Everything waist down of his person was black. Though he does not speak in a monotone, he does talk in a serious manner.

"Good afternoon, my name is Dr. Hyme A. Froud. For those of you who remember me, I am the one who interviewed random pedestrians in New York City and showed them all of the reasons why Applejack is a thousand times better pony then Fluttershy in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Today's quote is: A duck says quack, a cow says moo, and I say, "Get off my property before I call the cops".

"This week, I have decided to discuss with you every single character of the hit cartoon, the Total Drama series. I will evaluate each character in order of their elimination followed by the hosts with the first one being… Ezekiel.

"If there is any character I had to pity the most it would be him. It's not just how his fate turned in the cannon version but how a lot of people treat him on Fanfiction despite how awesome he is.

"He isn't the worst treated, but he is one of the many characters people overlook. If you ever read his bio, you'd know he is really smart and somewhat quirky in a good way. Though there are a few good fanfiction stories that put him in good light like Total Drama Comeback by the Kobold Necromancer and 23 Presents by show all of the good he has done and all of his abilities from his bio and other sources.

"Out of every single contestant, he is the most debatable character in how he should be shown. Few make him his original that was seen in only two episode. Some make him the I'm-Black-As-Night-And-Cool-As-Ice wannabe in late season one to early season three. Others made him Gollum from Lord of the Rings from the World Tour season finale ending that if Total Drama ripped off anymore Chris would be wearing a grey robe and a pointy hat with a long beard yelling at Ezekiel, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!".

"The only good thing about his transformation was that he has the most camos than anyone else, even Owen at twenty-four! That, and the fact that he gave Chris his karma in the 100th episode. I wish they would give him more time to grow as a character because he is somewhat a favorite of mine.

"Though that's just my opinion on him from an outside perspective, but in reality, the real reason I pity him is everyone says that it was greed that turned him like that, but I think that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Think about it, he never had any friends because he was homeschooled his whole life with NO social training. After his elimination, before everyone saw Playa des Loser someone (my best guess Cody you'll see why later) "helped" him become cooler and more popular, which ended up just annoying everyone even more! Then after he was eliminated in World Tour he wanted just to go far and make friends. In his new state of mind he saw money as power and power is never lonely. If he had the money, everyone would love him and he would be happy.

"If you don't believe it Cody look at this:

"He couldn't use the internet, because he doesn't know what that is nor does he know how to use it, so he had to ask a contestant.

"In order, all of the eliminated characters (no repeats) in order was him, Eva, Justin, Katie, Tyler, Izzy, Cody, Beth, Sadie, Courtney, Harold, Trent, Bridgette, Lindsay, DJ, and Geoff.

"Out of that, all the "cool" players were Justin, Tyler, Cody, Trent, Bridgette, Lindsay, DJ, and Geoff. Justin wouldn't talk to anyone who is not "pretty". Geoff and Bridgette were sucking face the whole time to talk to him.

"Out of all that was left, (Tyler, Cody, Trent, Lindsay, and DJ) Trent and DJ would want Ezekiel to be himself but to watch what he says. Tyler and Lindsay would make him more sporty. This leaves Cody, who by coincidence has the closest mentality to the new Ezekiel.

"All of this, everything that went downhill for the prairie boy, is Cody's fault, and he doesn't care."

After a dramatic pause, he continued, "Thank you everybody for watching, after the break, we will talk about the human hulk herself… Eva."

_**A/N: Well, that's about it, it's not to long yet it got my point across. If this goes as I hope I have a proposal. If anyone, and I mean anyone, has any complaints of my opinion just review or PM me. After every ten chapters (there will be forty in total) I will address any and all complaints and if there is anything I got wrong just let me know. Until then read and review!**_


	2. Eva

_**A/N: Well I hoped you liked the last chapter, but as I said before, if you do not agree with my opinion, just leave a review about how you think I'm wrong and I will adress it in the eleventh chapter. Though, please be professional about this and not send flames. And BTW every eleven chapters is a day, so there should be four days in all. You can see all the bio of the contestants if you just Google it. The correct website should be on wikia. Here is the maiden with muscle… Eva!**_

Once again, static played. When everything came to focus, the doctor was still there, but some of his cookies were missing.

"And we're back to this show that cures the cold for the common computer and increases your IQ by eleventyseven percent! Eva is someone you should not be messing with. In her bio, she once ate a hockey goalie's net when she found the other team cheating! She is another character that was robbed from development, since she came on the show to be a leader. She's only been apart of two challenges in all of Total Drama history which is the exact same as Ezekiel.

"In a lot of fanfictions she is treated just the same with the only stories she's in are romance or competition stories. They mention little about her changing into a leader or anything about her past like about how she is an immigrant from a small village in Europe or that one of her heroes is Catherine the Great.

"Deep down, her anger is a defence mechanism. When she moved to the great country of Canada, she was bullied. Her anger is what gave her strength to stop the bullies, but it did get out of hand as she has had temper tantrums many times. That might explain why she wants to be a leader so badly, so she can take charge and no one could try to belittle her.

"She would have had more room to develop if it was not for one person… Heather! The evil girl took Eva's mp3 player to make Eva scare the other campers. Though it is not clear to me why she singled out Bridgette as a traitor and no one else."

"Though short, Eva is a character that should have her recognition, and I hoped I did a good enough job. Next time we will take a look at the eye candy himself… Justin!

**A/N: Read and Review!**


	3. Noah

_**A/N: So far so good. And yes, last chapter I originally said Justin was next, but after it has been brought to my attention, I changed the text. Remember when I said to be professional if you ever disagreed with me last chapter? What I'm going to say may or may not make many Noah fans angry for more reasons than one. As I said before… here's Noah!**_

_**Oh, and P.S. SOPA is back! For those of you who don't know what it is it is the STOP ONLINE PRIVACY ACT and long story short it can sue and throw aonnybody in jail that has written and published fanfiction, fanart, fanvideos, fictionpress, YOU TUBE, or anything else that doesn't belong to you directly! That means people like the Kobold Necromancer and I could go to jail and anyone else who does this and lives in America! Be warned and do anything you can to prevent it! There is a link to stop it on my profile.**_

_**So without further adieu…**_

The familiar static played on the screen. The same doctor was currently in a heated argument with someone on the cell phone with pauses in between each sentence. The plate of cookies was empty as was the mug.

"I don't care what you say! I don't want to hear another word from you! Shut up now! Back atcha! I love you too, mother, have a nice day.

He looked at the camera and saw that it was on. "Oh… hello. It is I, the doctor, but don't confuse me with the Doctor, because, as you can see, I am way more awesomer than him.

"As you could guess, this segment is about Noah! This segment in itself is brought to you by waffles, your new supreme leader!

"Unlike the previous people I mentioned, Noah is actually someone who is very popular in the Fanfiction world with stories like _Total Drama Rapture_ by Rufus T. Serenity and _Total Drama Redemption_ by PurpleBandit3000 and among other stories is hardly found as a villain despite his cynical attitude.

"In the show he never really had much of a plot with the two seasons he was actually in. The first season just had him as an annoying prick, and he somewhat learned his lesson in the show's third season as he was not much of a jerk but simply a victim to the elements of nature, society, and Alejandro.

"To me, he is a very interesting character because of his cynical attitude. For most people this would be a defense mechanism because he is trying to hide his emotion from the rest of the world. It isn't hard to see why. It is said that he is the youngest of nine children, and seeing his build it will be difficult seeing him winning any fights anytime soon. It is unclear what happened to him in his house, but my guess is that it isn't pleasant. He never said anything about his family on the show with the exception of his golden retriever. Twice he talks about his dog as if it was his best friend.

"Whatever happened to him at home to develop his attitude is a stranger at school. In his audition he is not only class president, but an off screen character named Joey gave him a compliment on it. I don't care what anybody says, unless he was the only candidate, which I doubt. Why would someone congratulate you for winning by default? A lot of people had to vote for him, and people have a tendency of voting for people they like."

With a sigh Dr. Hyme A. Froud rubbed his temples. Soon, he looked up and began to speak. "Now here is a topic that I know is very sensitive for most fans, but in order to evaluate him fully, I need to talk about this.

"It seems that with most Noah fans there is a war. In essence it's like Twix, either your left side or you're right, personally I'm a left fan myself, but that is neither here nor their. No matter what, people will fight over, or at the least disagree over, Noah's sexuality. Some like to say that he is straight and pair him up with Eva, Courtney, and Katie, which the last one gives me a headache. I don't see why though; none of them would work out. Eva would fight with him the whole time, maybe go as far a physical abuse, Courtney and him would yell the whole time as both are very stubborn, and the idea of Katie and Noah together gives me a headache so bad because of how stupid it is that I can't even think about where to begin.

"My personal opinion is that he's…

…

…

…

…

…

...Gay.

"Yeah, yeah sue me and punch me in the face if you will, but it's impossible for a boy to talk in that tone of voice, subconsciously kisses another boy, snuggles with him a year later, makes a joke about that same boy saying, and I quote, that he, "has a tiny sausage," and NOT be gay.

"Well, I'm Dr. Hime A. Fraud, and if I'm not killed during the break we will then discuss the piece of eye candy himself… Justin!

_**A/N: Well, this is going to be one of many hard chapters to publish because… well let's just say I have a few things to say about some of the "top" competitors. Until then, read and review! **_


	4. Justin

_**A/N: 'Ello my li'l duckies, Cy's back! This will be without a doubt one of the SHORTEST chapters I will EVER publish… EVAHHHH! To make it up to all of my loyal readers (really just the five people to favorite OR follow, never both) the next chapter will be, without a shadow of a doubt the one of the LONGEST chapter for this story because it is the real reason I actually started this story, which will be explained next time! And BTW, I forgot to put a disclaimer for the first chapter so…**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama or any other product I mention.**_

_**With that, there is something I am putting on everyone of my stories, so here it goes. After a LOT of hard work… well an all nighter, I was able to write all the essays and take the tests to go to a high school for really smart kids. With a month of agonizing waiting… I got accepted! Yay! *Cue lights and streamers.* The only bad thing is from looking at the school I'll be the only one of ANY color (as I am half black) so it will be the real version of Everybody Hates Chris, but with smarter people. For safety reasons, I can't tell you the location or the name. With that said, the work will be around ten times harder (…OK, more like three times, but you still get the point.) and I won't be able to update like I want to, so my plan is to update my stories during the Summer a lot to make up for my future absence. With that said, it is now time to cue my signature trademark…**_

_**So without further adieu…**_

The doctor was still in his usual chair, but next to him, on the table, was a bowl of cereal and a glass of water. He opened his mouth and began to speak.

"And we're back to…" He stops at the middle of his speech and assumes a thinking position. The trance is broken in a matter of seconds. "Wow, it just occurred to me that I don't have a title for this show. I think I should call it… The Psychoanalyzing of Every Total Drama Contestant! Naw, that would never be watched. How about Hyme Time! Now THAT will sell like hotcakes! Anywhy, as I was saying, we're back to another exciting episode of Hyme Time! As promised, here is Justin!

"Out of every character, he is the only one who had his full screen time on the show. In season one, he was a filler character with about two lines in the whole season. Afterwards, he became a major-minor villain that used all of his usefulness and was eliminated just as he needed to.

"His tactic was just to charm people with no real thought in the matter. He failed. He has no back story and is boring. Every Fanfiction story on the site has his character deal with something with his beauty, but still he won at least two fan made seasons and yet other characters are still waiting for someone to let them in the final five! This is a madness that must be stopped!"

He soon clears his throat to calm down and continue. "There, at all is nothing to psychoanalyze or to give recommendations to story about character development because all are the same. He is a model and then has self esteem issues, or just manipulates people. In all of the other stories (romance) he just has looks and either gets the girl (or in some cases the guy) or still has the same problem again as mentioned above err… before. In all, he has the best amount of screen time; not too much, not too little.. Not much else to be said.

"Next time we will have a double whammy with not only Katie but Sadie with her! With that we conclude another exciting episode of… Hyme Time!

**A/N: As I said last time, this will be one of the shortest, and quite frankly one of the most boring, chapters of all time! Next time I will discuss a theory that I have never found on the internet, so I think it's original and something you will NEVER expect. Until then, read and review!**


	5. Katie and Sadie

_**A/N: Well, here it is! This is the REAL reason why I started this! It will probably be one of the longest until I reach the final eleven or so. So far I have exactly 998 views! Just two more until I reach 1,000!**_

_**So without further adieu…**_

"Hidy Ho, neighbor… yes that is a reference to Home Improvement, a show that no one under the age of twelve would get. Anywho, I'm Dr. Froud, and this is another segment of Hyme Time! This weeks topic: Total Drama!"

Hyme, as usual, was sitting in his plush chair cross-legged. By his side was a plate of cookies shaped in the form of Chef Hatchet's face and a glass of apple juice in a scotch glass. He cleared his throat to continue while he pulls out a sheet of paper from under the plate of cookies.

"This is a serious segment… so serious I can't even have a shout out, and I will not do just one character… but two, because really, it's improbable -no impossible- to do one without the other. That's right I'm doing Sadie and Katie… but not in a perverted way. Perverts!

"Anyways, I by myself, have came up with a theory that is as different as William Country **[1]** but no where near as... different, but first the twins' background!

"Katie and Sadie are seemingly like the same person, but as it seems there are a few key differences.

"According to their bios:

"Katie thinks with her heart, but Sadie thinks with her mind.

"This is proven as Katie made their outfits herself, and Sadie decided they should start their own business which they sell ice cream every Summer by the pier in their town of Twin Harbor.

"They also met each other when they became next door neighbor.

"That is as much as it said about their history together."

With that, he ate the paper to continue.

"Sadly, there is more of a darker undertone in their relationship."

The doctor grabbed a Chef cookie only to break it in half and pull out of a different piece of paper. He then tossed the cookies on the ground.

"Many fans of Total Drama remember the sixth episode of Total Drama Island. In the whole show it had, what I think, is the fifth… maybe even the third biggest shocker moment, but it's the saddest as it is one that very few catch. You see, Katie is, without a shadow of a doubt, the _**WORST**_ character behavior wise that ever lived on the show! Even worse than Chris McLean himself!

"Why, you ask. Before you send hate mail towards me, think about this. Think about the argument itself! There are more reasons why Katie is horrible. but this is just the key to help you open the door!

"As much as I wanted to show you guys the script, I couldn't find it, so I'll just give you the summary. Basically after the BFFFLs got lost (because of Katie) they soon got into an argument (caused by Sadie as a form of rebellion) it was shown that Katie drove Sadie's mom's car into a snack shack with no remorse (when the memory was brought up the first thing that came to her mind was how hot she was in a bikini, and when the matter was dug deeper, Katie claimed it was in her blind spot), but she also feels as if she's prettier than Sadie and claims that everyone else knows it. While Sadie's argument was valid and thought out, Katie was immature and hit below the belt.

After reading his notes, he rolled it up into a scroll and pressed the two ends against his fingers until his fingers met. When they separated, the paper was no where in sight.

"After everyone came back with Sadie and Katie coming in last, Katie is the first to apologize. Why is that important? Because if she didn't, Sadie would break free from her chains of oppression with not wanting to be friend anymore!

"Oppression, you may ask. Yes, oppression! Before I move from how immature Katie is to how she mind controls Sadie, let me tell you what a D.U.F.F is. A D.U.F.F. stands for a Designated Ugly Fat Friend, and that is what Katie treats Sadie as. She makes Sadie dependent on her, need her, and have her do anything to keep their friendship, which would be somewhat hard as Sadie is very bright- well brighter than Katie mentally wise, anyways. If she lost Sadie then she would not be the pretty one anymore.

"You think I'm wrong? You think I have no proof? Let's look at their bios again."

At this point, he sneezed in his hand; instead of snot, a wad of paper came out. He unfolded it and began to read the important parts.

"On Katie' profile- WAIT! STOP EVERY SINGLE THING! Look at me! Katie has became so popular that to everyone it's KATIE and Sadie, never Sadie and Katie. Again, wait I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyways, how about I show you a demonstration; I want you to see the difference!

Topic: Stereotype...

Katie: The NIce Girl

Sadie: The Nice Girls Best Friend

Topic: Known For...

Katie: Sewing outfits from scratch.

Sadie: Not doing anything without Katie.

"In Katie's profile it talked about her life, while with Sadie it says things like 'Sadie's room is filled with pictures of her and Katie, and every picture has oodles of little hearts drawn around them, because that's how much she loves her!' It didn't say a thing about her life period! Oh wait it said, 'She's never been a part of anything cool - ever! Raised in the small town of Twig Harbour, Sadie's never done anything too exciting either. The only thing that Sadie gets totally excited about is hanging out with Katie, her best friend in the whole world.' and '...if Katie got picked she'd be gone all summer and there was no way Sadie could have survived that long without her! It would be like losing a leg.' It says nothing about that in Katie's profile. Point blank, Sadie doesn't have a life outside of Katie. She not allowed to. I'm even pretty sure Sadie is not her real name as it's unlikely to have such a strong bond with rhyming names."

After this, Froud shoved the paper back up his nose.

"So after seeing all of this you probably asking yourself ok, good points, but Katie still isn't that popular. Still, with that out of universe, she has won at least one competition story, while it would be a plain merical to have Sadie hit the merge. With that, people would always keep Katie over Sadie in famous stories like Total Drama Comeback or Total Drama Redemption to name a few; there might be a few exceptions with Sadie surviving longer, but they are few. It's the peter pan syndrome! **[2]** Huh, I guess I lied, there were a few shout out in here.

With a sigh, the host continued.

"Well, that's it everybody! In the end, I hoped I shown you how horrible Katie is. Next up is the sporto that sucks at sports… it's Tyler! See you next time… on Hyme Time!"

_**A/N: Read, Review, and Revolt.**_

_**[1]: William Country is a Total Drama series on Youtube. It's somewhat hard to explain, but the basic is that eight TD contestants (Owen, Gwen, Trent, Heather, Katie, Sadie, Leshawna, and Duncan) and Cody are on an unnamed season of TD with an OC named Joshua. The whole series is based on the romantic relationship between Cody and Joshua (Which looks like Cody with different hair and clothes). The odd part is… well everything. From the animation, to the fact that no one gets voted off, and the fact that they aren't in order. Because of the controversy, it has been on and off Youtube a lot. Currently you can find the first episode if you search it on Google videos or just look it up on TV tropes to find a better summary.**_

_**[2] Peter Pan Syndrome is something I made up as that in the original telling, Peter Pan kidnaped children and if they showed signs of ageing, they will be killed unless the escape as pirates. That's why Captain Hook only has one hand, because it was chopped off in the process of escaping. The syndrome comes along when today's society makes Peter the hero and Hook the villain. . **_


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